Friday, March 22, 2013

* * * Changing Directions * * * Part II

So let's get right on to the next part. I hope you put some thought in starting to find your own inner voice? If you missed the first part you can read more about it here.

This time I am going to do it a little bit different.... Let's go back in time. Yes for real!!! Why??? Because actually there the journey started for me and I've came to realize I wasn't feeling happy about a few things in my life # A lot exactly # Oke maybe I'm being a little bit tooo dramatic, but seriously let's begin...

Oh yeah by the way: ...During the actions & activities nobody got hurt or injured in my company ( so they are really lucky) ... And you might grab a drink or cup of Tea because you DON'T want to miss out on what's about to come!!!

The year of 2009

Things I didn't like about that year & myself

  • Building a wall so high I even didn't knew how to break it...
  • Lost faith in humanity. Had a hard time trusting people again after putting all of it in the previous year(s)
  • Felt like I didn't spoke the same language as others. It was not that I was speaking Chinese or something like that
  • Most of the times I was putting on an "act". Or as we know the famous "masks"

Things that made me have faith again & put a smile on this gal's face

  • Found a new meaning of what Love is about. Someone who appreciates you for who you are and almost smothers you to death with gifts, attention & romance... Yeah I like!!!
  • New job & starting a new course
  • Made the final decision that I didn't want to finish my HBO Bachelor "Tourism Management
  • The big urge that I want to start something for myself. My own biz  but I had no clue what!
  • Making my house a "home"
  • Challenge(d) myself to be the best accountant I can ever be

The year of 2010

 Things I didn't like about that year & myself

  • Didn't felt like I belonged at my job. Feeling like an outsider
  • Blamed most of the people ( who are close to me) about the way I was feeling lot's of the time
  • Cried a few times just for being angry & frustrated
  • Felt low about myself. Had a few ups & down moments
  • My fairytale relationship began to show small cracks. Came to realize that two persons with different future perspectives wasn't that perfect and needed some stitching. At least that's what I thought. But at the end of the year I realized it wasn't going to be a happy end after all
  • Neglected me-time! Put my own needs aside to pleasure others more
  • I took the blame on mistakes others made. No one forced me to but it made me feel angry & frustrated
  • No structure + no balance = ChaOs for me
  • In denial that I didn't want to get married or have children (some day)
  • Too much negativity around me. It swallowed me up like a black hole in Space

Things that made me have faith again & put a smile on this gal's face 

  • Quality time with my two home girls # The Three Musketeers # yes we have our own group name because we're that cool ;)
  • Starting to connect again with some family members & a few good friends
  • Made a promise to myself to start focusing on me & to have more me-time

The year of 2011

 Things I didn't like about that year & myself

  • Still was hiding my true self behind the, here we go again, famous "masks"
  • The end of my fairytail relationship was a fact. I tried to change him, yes I really did try it and I am NOT proud of it & we did the usual stuff when you want to save the relationship but No, no matter how hard you try, it won't work if two persons are not on the same page
  • Wasn't showing how I really felt about something & was in denial about expressing my true feelings

Things that made me have faith again & put a smile on this gal's face 

  • True friends will always find a way back into your heart. I am a true believer of that! Offcourse it's a good idea to meet up again, when/if possible. But the connection always stays... Only if things stay in balance 
  • When you meet someone who's almost the same as you & have a strong connection together that it almost creeps you out... It happend to me that I stuffed all those feelings back deep down inside me and turned off the lights. I was scared to let them out & wasn't ready (yet) to open up (again)
  • First time I heard the words man energy & woman energy . Say what? I had no clue what this meant and how to recognize it at all. So I had some learning to do, hear hear!
  • Learning a new (hidden) side of me when it comes to flirting, dating & men. And an Eye-opener for me, what I really was looking for in a man -> I knew that Mr. Right existed so I started the adventure.. But oh boy it's gonna be a challenge .......
  • Passed for my examens and got my diploma as an Financial Assistant
  • Awaken my passion for Travel (again) after going on a trip with my home girl to Brussels.
  • Therapy @ Louvain: met new people, discovering myself, learning to enjoy & also  speak up when I didn't like something. And my cousins were my "mentors". Learned a lot from them like staying true to yourself, be serious about your future but most important ENJOY life!
  • Sabbatical trip to Rome! My body & soul were finally getting along and I felt at peace those days & I knew that nothing would be the same after this trip. I wanted more!!!! Should have done this earlier! But I know that everything has a reason. I also started re-connecting again with my mom & family & friends
  • Officially removed my TV out of my house.. Yes you read that right... Don't worry still had entertainment on my laptop & lots and lots of reading. Oh yeah and social time with Friends & Family
  • After my trip to Rome had some aha-moments like: I wasn't happy about my current job-lifestyle and wanted to figure out what I want to do with my life... First moment I really, seriously thought about my life purpose on this planet.. First time I thought this isn't about me...
  • Always love(d) to suprise my friends & family with small gifts... I love making D.I.Y gifts & being creative

The year of 2012

 Things I didn't like about that year & myself

  • I was still pleasing the needs of others and so putting mine aside again!
  • Never finished or procrastinate(d) (small) projects I started
  • I didn't wrote for like in a year in my diary. Wish I did this more but luckily I wrote my happy * fun moments in my "diary for life" -> yes I have more then one diary!
  • I didn't know what to expect (next) & I was affraid and so trying to plan out my whole future in advance!
  • Wasn't eating very healthy & taking my rest on time.. Lot's of the time I was feeling tired and my body was under mayor stress.
  • I was feeling the "need" to start a new relationship, still was missing something in the L-world & I knew it was too soon to start something again. Felt a little bit lost sometimes but no regrets because I learned new things about myself
  • Got a new job almost at the end of the year. I thought I found my dreamjob. Everything was perfect like too good to be true, but I literally fell out of balance & my inner flame was slowly turning off.

Things that made me have faith again & put a smile on this gal's face 

  • End of year 2011 I decided to spend old & new year in another country. Met a new friend and he made me realize that I was neglecting my talents. I am eternally gratefull for that!
  • I wrote down all the things I love to do & that made me happy. The centre of attention was traveling so I decided to go back in the travelworld. A big challenge given the (current) Economic situation
  • Made the final decision that I didn't want to be a financial assistent. That was sooo not me, but I was feeling so stressed -> didn't know how or when I would make the change, what about my financial situation??, will I find another job on time, you name it...
  • Finally started a blog! ( was in my head since 2008, can you imagine huh) Yep I am talking about this one right here... Come to think of it, this month is actually a year now. Proud of myself that I' m still up-dating 
  • Connecting with family from my fathers side ( parents are divorced) & creating a stronger bond with my mom, sissy & bro! And offcourse other close family members & (special) friends.
  • In the summer I decided to begin my natural hair journey again ( three times strike right?!). No more creamy crack for me :D ( my last relaxer was Jan'12). If you want to see what I am babbeling about  check this out. My hair was almost bra strap length.
  • Traveled again and learned some new things about the friendship between me and my close friends/family members. Don't take everything too seriously and have lots of FUN together!
  • Finally I discoverd my life -purpose: helping/advising and listening to others & figure out what really makes them happy & going for there true passion/dream.

The year of 2013 untill March

 Things I don't like about this year untill now & myself

  • A BIG Revelation I still wasn't really accepting every bit and tiny piece of myself. The connection still wasn't complete between my * body * mind * soul. 
  • One word: procrastination!!!! Man oh Man. Whenever I felt strong & ready enough for the next fase, Mr Procrastination came along. That dude followed me every where it almost drived me crazy and there the guilt part came back and affected my self - confidence . Sometimes and I almost believed it, I felt that I wasn't going to make it and/or accomplish my goals & dreams. Do you know that feeling? When you think, yay almost there and then you get a slap in the face again from famous Mr Procrastination... Yeah it sucks right?!

Things that make me have faith again & put a smile on this gal's face

  • Finally! At the beginning of the year I accepted GOD in my life! Before that it was always half way. Well I've learned a few things, also from my sissy and a few close friends, that you either accept HIM in your life for 100% and not for 50-50, that doesn't cut it!... Yep another smack in the face but no regrets here baby & never will!
  • Winning (small) inner battles and started accepting and loving my true self. And accepting that rushing things off is not the essential thing through a journey but letting yourself be you & enjoying every hour, minute & second. No rush-hour for me baby!
  • Learning to express my true feelings and not afraid to share & tell what I want and need. And also started a different but healthy eating  lifestyle.
  • And finally I decided to literally make a change in my life! More to come about this part so stay tuned...

So I hope I didn't bored you with my 4 year journey of battle & growth. Still learning here but now I feel that I am starting a new phase in my life & more in balance.... I know I'll still gonna have some battles, struggles you name it but at least this time I got my armer and that's loving myself! Sounds cheezy I know but really it's totally true & worth it and believe me love always WINS.

I made a summary of the "experiences" of the years I described above and made a few Tips on how to start your inner voice journey ... Next blog I want to introduce you to the experts who helped & inspired me through this journey..Alright enjoy it!

18 Tips on how to start a colorful life

  • Create a healthy & balanced lifestyle. If you aren't doing this yet, start today! Don't assume you are really getting old and living a long life if your food most of the times consists out of (junk) not really healthy food, alcohol & not taking your rest (on time) 

  • Keep in touch with close relatives and a small circle of friends. You can't beat their love and support. Don't be afraid to admit when you're down and need a lift up. Don't expect them to be mind readers. Say how you feel and what you need

  • Be realistic! Believe me I am misses ├╝ber optimist and I've learned that dark days also exist. So get your umbrella ( any color you like) out and just let the rain pass by... The Sun will always come back again and shine through

  • Spend more time with (the right) people who are positive, respect you for who you are & love/care for you no matter what. There is a proverb  "you become infected with whom you associate

  • If you have kids. Tell them often how much you love and admire him/her and do anything to help him/her.. If you don't have any kids (yet) then borrow your nephew or niece. Children are innocent & pure! 

  • Also an important one: say what you mean & mean what you say. Be honest that's the best policy. Just say how you feel and explain it.. If we had super powers and were mind-readers there wouldn't be a problem, but unfortunately we aren't, so say it orally or write it to them. As long as you get it of your chest. You do not want a heart disease right???

  • Really don't and I mean seriously don't Procrastinate. It will not only take away the time you've lost but also your self esteem. Believe me! You don't want to go down that road. Decide & move on & just keep on going.

  • Give!!! Yes Give!!! Give lots of compliments, smiles, humor, little gifts, your time ( the last one is for people who really deserve it) and to charities!

  • Learn more! About yourself -> what do you like to do? Develop a (new) personal interest and try it out, accomplish something. And also important -> keep on reading regular & widely .. It's not only fun but you get more knowledge about some (new) subjects. Nowadays you have an online library. It's called google. You can even listen to lots of motivational/inspirational books, yes on youtube. So no excuses anymore.

  • Spend more time in or around Nature! Don't underestimate the connection & power between a person and nature. We're made for 70% ( depends on age) out of water. So when you feel out of balance go back to your "roots". You can start in your living room with your plants & flowers! ( not the fake ones like I have, yeah busted) And this is also a way for discovering your inner voice. Just try it, you've got nothing to lose right???

  • Listen to music that makes you feel relaxed & can make you creative. Try different kind of things like: going to a movie you'd normally wouldn't see, visiting an art gallery or museum, writing stories, playing an instrument or paint something different. You name it

  • Treat yourself often with small things like: chocolates, flowers, a day at the spa, a new shoe or one of a kind piece of jewelry. Sometimes you need to "give" yourself a gift as well. Don't get me wrong this is not about filling up an empty space, but spoiling the inner child in you.

  • Let Stress out... Stress creeps up on you  when you at least expect it and then it's too late. I almost had a burn-out and I really don't want to go through that route again. No thank you! So it's important to regularly do something that kills down the stress. Join a gym and take more vigorous exercise... If you're allergic for gyms just like me, go for a brisk walk (it will also raise your spirit)  but do try some other physically thingies like: aerobics, jogging, heavy yard work, swimming laps...

  • Travel!!!! I highly recommend this. Go to places you've never seen/been before ( even in your hometown, you'll be amazed) or always wanted to go but affraid that people might judge you, or tell you not to because it's dangerous. Ok yes true, you have to be carefull and  on garde ( especailly if you are a woman) but if you "follow" the basic rules about travelling by yourself & don't draw too much attention on you being on a solo trip, then I would say go for it. But remember you are always responsible for your OWN life

  • Keep a diary & gratitude journal. I am not exaggerating but I have one for my daily life, spiritual path with God, hair journey, hopefully 100 year life diary & new business. Oh yes and a mini notebook for creative ideas... No joke I am dead serious! Always had a thing for colorful notebooks -> addiction I guess :D... But the reason why you should definitely have one is that this can help you get (more) structure in your life and it's an easy way to keep track/revisit your happy moments & a reminder that bad times don't last forever. For me writing is therapy.( as you may noticed in this blog post, LOL)

  • Believe! If you are not religious, then just start believing in yourself! Remember you are special and we all have a special gift or talent to share with this world. Don't waste it by listening to others who don't have the best interest in you or are affraid to discover there own dreams/goals/life-purpose. Share yours to make this world better. Step by step we can make this world better for (our) next generation(s)

  • If you are scared and feeling uncomfortable or frightened about a situation. Don't worry it's ok at least that makes you human. Meditate on the word of GOD -bible- and take yourself to a place in your mind where you feel safe and comfortable... It might be an imaginary beach, a garden or wherever you want it to be (from a pure heart of course). Just go there and follow your instinct!

  • And last but not least. Remember it is NEVER TOO LATE to find your inner voice... It will be when you are lying on your deathbed & realise that you didn't lived the way YOU want(ed) it to be.

So I guess I would say 


Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog!

Be Good & Stay Positive ♥

xoxo Lindsay

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